


It's Been Awhile

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Blind Date, Disney Movies, Fluff, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Platonic Cuddling, Thunder and Lightning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-11 01:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16466192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: John Laurens has lived with his best friends Hercules Mulligan and Lafayette for years. He watched the two of them go from friends to lovers, yet, the entire time, Laurens has always stayed single. He's had the occasional date here and there, but nothing lasting. Noticing how lonely their companion seems, Lafayette and Hercules decide to find someone for John. Lafayette sets John up on a blind date with his coworker Alexander Hamilton. At first, Laurens doesn't like the loud-mouthed man, but eventually he finds himself falling in love. Unfortunately for Laurens, Alexander has some dark pieces to his past, and if John is going to become a part of Alexander's life, he's going to need to help him untangle everything he hides under the surface, even if it means opening every wound Alexander has spent so long trying to cover up.





	1. They Say We Are Asleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette and Hercules think John seems lonely. They offer to set him up on a blind date. John reluctantly agrees, and finds himself meeting the loud, overbearing Alexander Hamilton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter than I wanted it to be, but I think it's a good start to the story. Hopefully everyone enjoys! I'm very excited to get into the plot of this one, I think it'll be pretty interesting once things start unfolding.

John Laurens snaked down the sidewalk, dodging other passersby as he headed to his favorite local cafe. It was a small place called the Blue Music Coffee, an independently owned shop located just down the street from John's apartment building. He loved to spend his afternoons there, surrounded by the scent of coffee and chocolate as he curled up in a booth pushed against the back corner of the room where he could work on his writing in silence. John was an editor for a publishing company based in New York, but in his free time he worked on a novel he hoped to eventually publish. The peace and quiet of Blue Music was optimal for writing, especially since, being a regular customer, the employees all knew what he wanted without needing to ask, so nobody ever bothered John except to drop off a cup of his favorite drink. Most days, John stayed until the cafe was close to closing, usually reluctantly trudging home when he had no other option. 

As John typed away on his laptop, having just been struck with inspiration for a certain subplot in his novel, he gradually began to block out the world around him. The soft sound of music playing faded away, the quiet chatter of woman gossiping and teenagers studying for exams turned into little more than a faint buzzing in his ears. John only snapped back to reality when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Usually he turned it off when he started writing, but today he had forgotten to do so. John slid his phone out of his pocket and tossed it on the table, glancing at the message he had received.

**Lafayette:** _Where are you? Hercules and I were hoping you would join us for dinner tonight. I was going to make penne rosa_

**John Laurens:** _Figured you two wanted some alone time. Went to Blue Music to write._

**Lafayette:** _You should come home. Just because Hercules and I are dating does not mean you are never welcome to be around us._

**John Laurens:** _I'll head home in a minute._

John sighed, tossing his phone back into his pocket and gathering his things. He gulped down what was left of his coffee and went to the counter to pay for it. John loved spending time with Laf and Herc, they were his two best friends. The problem was, even though the two of them would never say it, he knew they thought of him as a third wheel. When the three of them had first started living together, things were different. Back then, they had all just been friends. But after a year and a half of living together, Hercules asked Lafayette out, and ever since then the two of them had been madly in love with each other. John loved seeing them happy, and completely supported their relationship, but a small part of him always hated how lonely is felt to be the odd man out. That was one of the reasons he loved hanging out at the cafe so much. Not only was it a peaceful place where John could get work done, but it also meant the other two would have the apartment all to themselves to do whatever they wanted. Lafayette was constantly asking John to spend more time at home, something he usually tried to dodge. But, he didn't want to hurt their feelings, and that penne rosa _did_ sound extremely good, so it couldn't hurt for John to have dinner with them for the first time in what felt like forever. 

John arrived to his apartment building and walked up the four flights of stairs to get to his floor. The building did have an elevator, but John hated using it because it was old, creaky and made him feel claustrophobic. Laurens finally got to his door, fumbled around for a moment as he struggled to find his keys, and then opened the door, the scent of tomato sauce immediately washing over him. Hercules, who had been reclining at the table, got up and rushed over to John, pulling him into a hug. Hercules was a big guy, and John felt like he was being suffocated as Hercules squeezed him so tight he felt his back and shoulders crack. Once Hercules loosened his grip on John, John moved his arms around Hercules' wide shoulders to pull him back into the hug. It hadn't occurred to Laurens until he saw how excited Hercules was to see him, how little time John had been spending at the house. He couldn't actually remember the last night he had been home before eight o'clock at night. 

"Mon ami, I am glad to see you." Lafayette said, a grin on his face. "I feel as if we have not spoken in months." John felt his face flush red with shame. He had never really considered that spending so much time away from the apartment might be causing him to drift away from his friends. "Have a seat!' Lafayette commanded, pulling one of the chairs away from the table and gesturing for John to take a seat. Cautiously, as if he was afraid Lafayette would pull the chair out from under him as soon as he sat down, Laurens took a seat. Once he was settled in, he scooted closer to the table and picked up a napkin, unfolding the white cloth and spreading it over his lap. 

"Dinner smells delicious." John commented. Lafayette thanked him as he poured John a glass of water. 

"It will be done in about three minutes." Lafayette added. As he made the finishing touches to the dinner, the three friends talked. John told his roommates about the progress he had made on his book. When the food was ready, everyone ate, the conversation continuing to flow. John told them about a client he had been dealing with throughout the week. 

"The guy doesn't understand the meaning of a deadline," John complained. "I told him I needed the first hundred pages done a week and a half ago. He told me he needed more time and I asked him to submit what he already had and the dude keeps avoiding my requests. I swear, he must not have written a single word yet!" John let out an elongated sigh of frustration. "I even tried emailing and calling him at the cafe after work. No reply." 

"Mon ami, you should not let your work stress you out so much, especially not when you aren't even at the office." Lafayette scolded. He was always telling John to relax, and John was always disregarding him. He took his work seriously, knowing full well his boss would come after him if he didn't have things submitted in time, and the only way to be able to submit things on time was if his clients gave him the material by the deadlines. 

"Perhaps he just needs something to distract him from work! It is all he does, after all." Hercules said. It was the first time he had opened his mouth the entire dinner, except for earlier when he had thanked Lafayette for the food. John stiffened slightly, nervous about where Hercules was planning to take the conversation. 

"We need to do more than just distract him from work," Lafayette replied. "We need to find a way to keep him around the house more often." John let out a sigh at that. So this was just about those two wanting him to be around the house more often? All they needed to do was ask, and John would make an effort not to spend so much time at Blue Music. 

"Look, guys," John cut in. "The reason I spend so much time outside the house is because I hate feeling like I'm getting in your way." John admitted. "You two are such a cute couple, and I feel like I'm just an annoying third wheel. I thought you liked it when I was out of the house because you two can do whatever you want when I'm not around." John admitted. At those words, Hercules let out a booming laugh. 

"I told you, Laf!" He managed to choke out between laughs. Lafayette was smiling and shaking his head, clearly amused by something. John raised an eyebrow. What he said hadn't been funny. 

"What's so amusing?" He questioned. 

"Herc said maybe you were just lonely. He thought we should find you a boyfriend to get your mind off of work." Lafayette explained. 

"I also said if you had a boyfriend, we would see you more often because we would be able to go on double dates." Hercules added, winking at John. 

"If I might interrupt," Lafayette said before John could answer. "We never meant to make you feel like the odd man out, Laurens. I am sorry if Hercules and I made you feel like you needed to get out of the house. We love having you around. You are our friend, after all." John thanked Lafayette, feeling a little better knowing his friends had actually wanted him around all along. 

"Sorry I kind of just...abandoned you guys." John wasn't sure how else to say it. Neither of his friends seemed to hold any ill will towards him over it; they both clearly understood why John had done what he did, and seemed more upset with themselves for making him think that was necessary that they were upset with Laurens. 

"Now, back to the topic of you being lonely, mon ami." Lafayette said, a mischievous look in his eyes. John was about to cut in and insist that he wasn't lonely, when Lafayette continued, "You have been single since the day I met you. You've never had a second date! It makes me sad. You deserve someone who will take care of you." Lafayette insisted. 

"Honestly, Laf, I appreciate it, but I can't seem to find a good guy anywhere. I'm still young, maybe I should wait to find a partner until closer to me getting ready to settle down." John countered. 

"It's been at least a year since you last went on a date, John." Hercules spoke up. "Neither of us are trying to embarrass you. We just want to see you happy." 

"There is a young man who works down at the office with me." Lafayette was a lawyer. That meant this guy was a lawyer, too, which meant he was probably a pretentious jerk. "He writes in his spare time, a lot like you." Lafayette added. John's interested was ever so slightly piqued by that. If this guy was a writer, John would finally have someone to bounce ideas off of. "His name is Alexander Hamilton. If you would like, I can talk to him about meeting you. The two to of you could do on a date this weekend." 

John considered for a moment. He really didn't know how he felt about the idea of a blind date. But, Lafayette and Hercules were trying to help him, and they were so earnest about it. How could he put their effort to waste by denying the opportunity to meet this guy? 

"Okay. I'll go on a date with him." John agreed. As soon as he said it, he saw Lafayette's eyes light up with glee. 

\- 

The next day at work, Lafayette kept his eyes up all morning, waiting to see Alexander enter his office. Finally, around 9, Alexander came rushing into the office, his bag slung over one shoulder, a coffee in his right hand. His black hair, which was usually pulled back into a bun, was down, resting just below his shoulders. Alexander fidgeted with a key for a moment, unlocking the door to his office. The walls in their office were all glass, meaning Lafayette could see right through his own office into Alexander's. He tried his best to focus on the paperwork he had at his own desk, but he kept glancing up, waiting to see Alexander settled down at his own desk. Once the other man seemed comfortable, Lafayette planned to casually invite him to lunch. They usually ate in their offices, on their own, but Lafayette needed a good excuse to talk to Alexander about John and, even though they talked every once in a while, Lafayette didn't think it was a good idea to talk about something like that while they were supposed to be doing work. 

After about twenty minutes had passed and Alexander had a pen whipped out, jotting something down on a pad of paper as he skimmed a file in front of him. Lafayette knocked softly on his door. Hamilton looked up and gestured for Lafayette to come inside. He had a smile on his face, pleasantly surprised at the visitor. 

"How can I help you?" Alex asked in a friendly voice. 

"Mon ami," Lafayette greeted him. "I was wondering if you would like to go get food with me for lunch today? It's Friday and it is a beautiful day, we should get out of this office for a bit and enjoy it!" Alexander considered for a moment. 

"Are you inviting anyone else?" There were four offices on their floor. Two were on the other side of the floor, completely separated by a room with solid walls, which was used for conferences occasionally by other people in the building. One of the offices was occupied by Aaron Burr, a man Lafayette rarely spoke to, though the few interactions he did have with him had caused Lafayette to have a strong disdain for Burr. The other office was occupied by Eliza Schuyler, a young woman who had always been awfully kind to Lafayette, though he did not know her very well. 

"I didn't plan to, but I will go over and invite the others if you would like." Lafayette offered. 

"No, that's okay." Alexander was quick to say. "I would rather not have to deal with Burr." Lafayette knew very little of their history, but he had heard from somebody before that Alexander and Aaron had dated at one point, and that Alexander had left Burr because the relationship made him unhappy. Even now, just the mention of Burr coming along seemed to terrify Alexander. As curious as he was for the full story, Lafayette decided it was best not to press for more information about Alexander's relationship with Aaron. "And, as much as I like Eliza, she kind of scares me." Alexander admitted. Lafayette chuckled at that. Eliza did have something about her that seemed to intimidate most people. 

The day passed by quickly, noon arriving faster than Lafayette expected. He and Hamilton walked to the elevator together, planning to go across the street to a small sandwich shop Alex liked for lunch. At first, the lunch went fine. They both ordered, Lafayette choosing a basic ham and cheese sandwich with mayo, Hamilton choosing something that was topped with so many ingredients that he could hardly get his mouth around it all. As they ate, they made small talk. Lafayette found that Alexander was easy to talk to, and he hoped John would find the same thing. Alexander was extremely nice, even if he did talk too much sometimes, and Lafayette hoped things would work out between him and John. 

"Can I ask you a question, Alex?" Lafayette asked, wiping his face with a napkin. 

"Sure." Alex said, his mouth full of food. Lafayette winced slightly at his poor table manners. 

"I have spoken about my friend John Laurens a few times before, yes?" Alex nodded. "I believe you two would be a good match. I hope I am not being too forward when I ask you if you would be interested in going on a date with him? I spoke to Laurens on this matter and he is open to the idea if you are." Alexander seemed taken aback at what he was hearing. Lafayette began to worry that perhaps he had not been subtle enough. He had thought it would be better to ask the question quickly in order to get it out of the way, similar to ripping off a band-aid. But perhaps he had taken the wrong approach? 

"I suppose it's worth a shot." Alexander nodded slowly. "What's the worst that could happen? If you are friends with this John Laurens, I trust he is a good man." Hamilton offered up a small smile. Lafayette was surprised. He had half expected Alexander to go into some speech about how he would only date Laurens if they had the same political views. Alexander was very opinionated and didn't like people disagreeing with him. 

Lafayette gave Alexander John's phone number, Alexander promising he would text Laurens and make plans sometime later that day. 

"Don't tell him I told you this," Lafayette warned. "But Laurens needs someone in his life other than Hercules and myself. All he ever thinks about is work and that novel he's writing. It will be good for him to have someone to take his mind off of those things. I hope the two of you get along." Lafayette said, smiling. 

\- 

Laurens was staring at his laptop, his eyes tired, eyelids drooping. The words on the screen all seemed to blur together, but he was determined to finish proofreading the document before he went to sleep for the night. Suddenly, his phone buzzed and an unfamiliar number lit up his screen. He read the text, seeing it was from Alexander Hamilton, the guy Lafayette was setting him up with. Laurens quickly created a new contact for the number and texted him back. 

**John Laurens:** _Hey, Alexander. Lafayette told me a bit about you at dinner. I'm looking forward to meeting you._ As soon as Laurens sent the text, he saw the bubble pop up to signify that Alexander was responding. _So he was one of those people who responded instantly?_

**Alexander Hamilton:** _i hope lafayette said all good things. we're clearly both excited about meeting...why don't we meet this weekend? are you free saturday night?_

John had no plans Saturday. He was going to spend the day binge watching something on Netflix while he tried to write another chapter of his novel, but hanging out with another person sounded far more appealing. In the end, he and Alexander (who insisted John call him Alex) planned to meet at Rizzo's, a pizza place in Manhattan that Alex had claimed had the best pizza in all of New York City. John didn't believe him, he knew Evil Olive Pizza was the best place out there, but John decided not to argue, having been told by Lafayette that Alexander refused to lose arguments. The two planned to meet at the restaurant around eight thirty that night. It was going to be their first date, but it was casual enough that John felt like he would have an easy time getting to know Alex. He always felt stressed out when people tried to take him to fancy places on their first date. Sure, growing up in South Carolina meant John had certain manners that made it easier for him to fit in at a fancy restaurant, but he always thought it was harder to get to know someone when you were first meeting them in an expensive place where you felt like every single employee was staring at you, as if waiting for you to make a mistake that would prove you weren't really all that fancy. 

John shared the news with Lafayette and Hercules later that night. Both seemed ecstatic that John was going on the date. Lafayette was shooting all kinds of advice at John, some of it general dating advice, some of it specifically intended to help him navigate Alexander, who, according to Laf, could be quite the complex individual. 

\- 

Saturday night came awfully fast. John wasn't even sure if he was ready to go on the date, but there was no way he could back out now. He decided he didn't want to look like he was trying too hard to look nice, as he wanted the date to feel laid back, but he still decided to put some extra effort into his appearance. It was autumn, meaning the air had a slight chill to it. John grabbed a yellow sweater with thin black stripes crossing over the chest and pulled it over his head. He slipped black jeans on and a pair of black boots to finish the ensemble. He liked the way the outfit looked; the black all blended together, and the yellow provided a bright, eye-catching contrast. John's curly hair was a mess, as always. It looked more like a bird's nest than hair. He combed it, taming his curls as best as possible. Laf and Herc assured him that the messy, bouncy curls looked cute, and John tried to convince himself that what they were saying was true. He took one last look at himself in the mirror and prayed he looked okay. Tried his best to push away his worries about whether or not Alex would like his freckles, or the color of his eyes, or the southern drawl he spoke with. 

"Alex is going to love you." Lafayette promised him. Saying one last thank you to Lafayette for getting him the date in the first place, John pulled out his phone and shot Alex a quick text to let him know he was going to be heading out to the restaurant. As John got in his car, he could practically feel himself shaking. This was his first date in so long, and this was the first guy who actually seemed interested in John for more than just a one night stand. John could only pray Alex's feelings wouldn't change when he actually met Laurens. 

There was no more time to worry as Laurens got in his car and headed on his way to Rizzo's Pizza. Unbeknownst to him, Alex, who was also on his way to the restaurant, was also plagued with worries that John was going to be disgusted with him after tonight.


	2. Watch As I Dive In

John parked his car and looked at himself in the rearview mirror quickly. He raked his fingers through the curls on his head, trying to make them look neat. He finally gave up and accepted that his hair was impossible to tame and silently prayed Alex wouldn't be put off by its messy appearance. John opened the door and got out of his car, brushing the front of his sweater to fix where it had bunched up. He knew this was a casual date, that Alex wasn't expecting him to walk in looking like he was about to meet the Queen, but John still wanted to give a good first impression.

John walked up to the entrance of the building and walked inside, the scent of fresh dough and garlic washing over him. The restaurant had a large open space full of tables, where all sorts of families and couples were seated, all enjoying their meals. The lights gave everything a dim glow, red bulbs sitting in low-hanging lamps, each positioned over a table. John stood near the entrance, unsure if he should find somewhere to sit or wait for Alexander to show up.

Before Laurens had time to make the decision, he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He whirled around to face whoever it was. Immediately, Laurens was face-to-face with a tan-skinned man, who had black hair pulled into a low bun, and some of the richest brown eyes John had ever seen. The man was staring at John with a large, toothy grin and an expectant look on his face.

"Pardon me, are you John Laurens?" He asked.

"That's me. You must be Alexander Hamilton?" John replied.

"That's me!" Alex answered, grinning. "I was a little nervous I was gonna approach the wrong person, but Lafayette told me you had curly hair, and you're the only guy I noticed with curly hair," Alex explained, his face turning red. John chuckled at that. Of course Lafayette told Alex his hair was the best way to recognize him. A waiter took Alex and John to a table and sat them down, handing them two menus and taking their drink orders. John opened the menu and started scanning, trying to decide what kind of pizza he wanted.

"So, I'm not sure how much Lafayette told you about me." Alex began. "But, I'm a lawyer. I work in the same building as Lafayette, in the office next to his, actually. I love studying law, I think I'm pretty good at it, but I also really like writing. I do a lot of research papers in my free time. Eventually I want to get some of them published." Alex was talking so fast that Laurens could hardly keep up. He wasn't even sure how Alex could say so much so fast without running out of breath. "Lafayette tells me you're an editor for an independent publishing company here in the city. Maybe I'll use your company when I finally decide to go somewhere with my writing!" Laurens nodded.

"I'm always open to helping you if you're serious about getting published. I want to be published someday, too. I'm writing a novel in my free time." Laurens explained.

"Really? What's it about?" Alex asked. Laurens explained the plot of his novel, giving Alexander a quick synopsis. John had pages upon pages of detailed ideas for the different parts of his story, but he was always terrified of being judged, so he usually explained the story as, "a novel written from the perspective of a slave back in early America, who escapes his master and has to figure out where to go and what to do with his newfound freedom". Alex seemed interested in the idea, which made Laurens feel a little better. Most people seemed bored when John tried to tell them about his novel.

"I'm not really sure what I want," John admitted after another minute of looking over the menu. "What are you planning on getting?"

"I was just planning on getting a slice of sausage," Alex admitted. "I don't like a lot of toppings on my pizza." John shrugged, deciding he would get the same thing. When their waiter came to take their order, Alex got them a full sausage pizza.

As the two of them waited for the pizza, Alex continued talking. "I like your accent. You're from the south?"

"South Carolina, to be exact," John answered, suddenly painfully aware of his southern drawl.

"I could listen to your accent for hours," Alex commented. John felt himself blushing at that. He tended to find people didn't like the sound of his voice very much. Alex and John continued to talk while they waited for their food to arrive. John found that, for the most part, Alex was the one talking. He would ask John a question, only to cut him off and move on to the next topic before John could fully answer the question. The fast pace of their conversation was jarring to John, who found himself getting slightly annoyed at times. He didn't say anything, however. He could tell Alex was just the kind of person whose mind moved too fast for his mouth to keep up and saying something would probably just upset Alex.

Finally, their waiter brought out their food. He asked if the couple wanted anything else, then quickly scurried off to let them eat in peace. John took a slice and placed it on his plate, waiting a few moments for it to cool down. Alex, who had also taken a slice, was staring intently at John, waiting for him to take his first bite.

"I'm waiting to see the look on your face when you finally experience the greatest pizza in all of NYC," Alex explained, grinning. John smiled and took a bite. As soon as he did, his eyes widened. The pizza was amazing. He quickly took another, much larger bite and unintentionally let out a quiet moan. As soon as the noise left his throat, John felt himself blushing. Had he really just made that noise in front of Alex?

"I'll take it you like it, then?" Alex teased as he took a bite of his own slice. John nodded.

"I didn't think any pizza place could be better than Evil Olive," John explained. "But I'm starting to think you were right. This is the best pizza I've had in a long time."

"Of course I'm right." Alex declared. "I always am!" He laughed as he spoke. John rolled his eyes but chuckled at Alex's words.

The rest of their date went well. They stayed at the pizza place for nearly an hour and a half, talking and laughing as they got to know each other. Alex continued to take every conversation at breakneck speed, but John was able to pick up small details about Alex here and there as he spoke. He found out that Alex was actually born on an island in the Caribbean and that he had come to New York when he was about eighteen. He briefly mentioned his mother, but he seemed to not want to touch on the subject for long. John decided it was best not to press Alexander for more information about his family. When Alex was done telling John about his life, he prompted John to talk about himself for a bit. Laurens couldn't help but be slightly surprised that Alexander was actually going to be quiet for more than two seconds.

"Well, as I said, I was born and raised in South Carolina. I have a pretty big family, but I rarely talk to them. My dad is," John trailed off, not sure how to say things. "To be blunt, he's racist. Like, extremely so. I dated a black girl once, back before I realized I was gay, and I swear my dad almost killed me right then and there. Anyway, I came to New York, got a job with the publishing company, and now here we are." John decided to keep things brief. He wasn't sure how much Alexander wanted to hear and he was afraid of oversharing. The banter between them continued for a little while, most of it coming from Alex, who was rapid-fire asking questions about John. Finally, they flagged down their waiter to tell him they were ready for their bill.

John reached for his wallet, ready to pay at least half the cost of the meal. Alexander slapped his hand away, insisting he should be allowed to pay for the meal. John raised an eyebrow. He felt bad not contributing, especially since he had been the one halfway through the meal to ask their waiter to bring out an order of garlic knots and a lemonade for him.

"If you want to pay for something, you can leave the tip. But, I insist you let me pay for this. I got to choose the restaurant we came to, it's only fair that you let me cover the bill." John gave in, leaving a ten on the table to tip their waiter, and letting Alex pull out the cost of the meal.

"I had a lot of fun today," John said as he and Alex walked out to their cars together. John stopped to drink in Alexander's image one last time before they parted ways for the night. He couldn't help but admire the way Alex's hair had gotten slightly messy over the course of the date, strands sticking out in little wisps. He was clearly tired, his eyes seeming a little distant, but their brown color still shone beautifully under the lights in the parking lot. Part of John wanted to grab Alex and find out if his lips were as soft as they looked, and if his hair felt as silky as John had imagined. But, he restrained himself, knowing that would be jumping too far on the first date. Alex seemed like the kind of person who, despite the speed at which he spoke, would want to take a relationship slowly. John settled for the hug Alex pulled him into, reveling in the faint scent of his shampoo, some kind of mixture of mint and vanilla.

"I'll text you later," Alex said as he turned on his heel to head to his car. "I enjoyed this date. A lot. Thanks." He sounded nervous.

"I'm looking forward to the next one," John replied, winking. He could've sworn he saw Hamilton breath a sigh of relief as if he had been worrying that John would not want to go on another date. They said one last goodbye before going their separate ways.

-

"So, how did the date go, mon ami?" Lafayette shouted from the living room as soon as John walked into the apartment. He had a huge grin on his face; there was nothing he could do to make it go away because he was in too good of a mood.

"Wonderful," John replied in a floaty voice. His head was still spinning with the range of emotions today had taken him through. "At first I wasn't sure how I felt. Thought the guy was kind of annoying, like, he talked way too much. Then I started to find it endearing." John explained as he walked in the living room to see Lafayette and Hercules cuddling on the couch. "I really like listening to him talk." John admitted, laughing.

"Alexander reminds me of you. The only difference is that you are much quieter than he is." Lafayette teased. "I am glad the two of you got along."

"There will be a second date, yes?" Hercules chirped up suddenly.

"Yeah. I'm hoping soon." John replied. He would need to text Alexander as soon as possible to figure out when and where they wanted to meet up again.

"Be careful, mon ami." Lafayette warned suddenly. "This is your first relationship in some time. I do not want you to get too attached to Alexander purely because he likes you. Take things slow and make sure you are truly happy with him." John felt like a small child being talked down to. But he knew Lafayette was giving sound advice and he would do well to heed it. It would be all too easy for him to allow his obvious infatuation with Alexander to go too far if he wasn't careful. Still, John did really like Alexander, at least from what he had experienced with him today, and he wanted to make sure things continued to go well between them.

-

John and Alex planned another date for the following Friday. John's week felt longer than usual, each day passing by agonizingly slow as he looked forward to another chance to see Alex. On Friday they were planning to go see a movie. Throughout the week, Lafayette would make the occasional comment about how excited John seemed. Clearly he wasn't very good at hiding things. But how could he not be excited, when he was going on another date with Alex? The first one had been surprisngly great, and John was expecting this next one to be just as good.

At the end of a week that had felt like a month, John found himself in front of the mirror yet again, struggling to decide what to wear to the date. Obviously most of it would be spent in the dark, where Alex wouldn't even be able to see John, but he was stupidly worried about not looking good. Ultimately, with some help from Hercules, who was amazing when it came to fashion, John decided to wear a pair of jeans accompanied by a long-sleeved grey shirt and thin green jacket. It was simple, but it looked nice. John pulled his hair back into a ponytail, something he rarely did. Lafayette told him he should keep it down since, "your curls are part of what make you so adorable!" but John wanted to change things up a bit.

When John arrived to the movie theater, he found that Alex had already arrived and was waiting for him by the entrance. In his hand he was holding their tickets, a broad grin on his face. John's eyes raked down Alex's figure, taking in his appearance. He looked almost the same as the last time--his hair pulled into a bun, skin flawless, eyes shining. His outfit was simple, a black shirt that had the name of some Broadway musical John had never cared about written across the front. John's eyes were pulled down to Alex's feet, where a pair of bright teal vans were.

"Nice shoes," John commented. He was wearing a pair of black Nike running shoes. He never understood people who liked to buy brightly colored shoes, especially not ones such as Vans or Converse that made your feet hurt if you walked more than a block or two.

"They're better than your lame Nikes," Alex shot back, picking up on the hint of sarcasm that had been in John's voice. "No need to come at me for wearing cool kid shoes." John rolled his eyes and let out a quiet chuckle.

The two walked into the theater side-by-side and Alex presented the tickets to the usher at the front. The teenager, who looked utterly bored with life, took the tickets, ripped them and handed back the stubs, mumbling, "theater seven on your right". Thanking her, John and Alex headed towards concessions.

"I really hate that you paid for those." John hissed. "I was going to pay this time."

"You can cover the food." Alex shrugged.

John sighed. He was extremely grateful that Alex was so willing to pay for everything, but it made him feel like a pretty awful date. The two approached the counter, where an overweight man with a clearly fake smile was waiting for them.

"What do you want?" John asked Alex, gesturing to the menu.

"Just popcorn and a soda is fine."

"Two sodas and a large popcorn," John told the cashier.

"Why don't we just share one soda?" Alex asked. "This is a date, after all."

"Okay, uh, one soda and a large popcorn." John corrected himself. The cashier handed them the cup for their soda and told their order total. John handed over his card to pay for it. The cashier handed John the popcorn bucket, and John followed Alex who went to fill up the soda. The two of them decided to just get a regular cola, and as soon as the cup was full, Alex was grabbing John's hand and dragging him to the theater.

"I got us seats as close to the middle of the theater as I could," Alex explained. "Wasn't really sure where you like to sit." John shrugged. He didn't go to the movies enough to have a preference for where he liked to sit; anywhere that wasn't the very front row was perfectly fine for him. The two sat next to each other and whispered back and forth while commercials played before the movie. Finally, the lights dimmed down and the screen went dark. The movie was about to start, as signaled by the logo

"Just so you know," Alex said suddenly, "I'm terrified of horror movies." John couldn't help but chuckle at that. He had told Alex horror movies were a favorite of his, so he couldn't help but wonder if Alex had chosen the movie to make John happy, or if he had chosen it because a scary movie was the perfect excuse to get close to someone--the cliche moments of burying your face in your partner's shoulder when the scene got too intense, grasping their arm to pull their body closer to yours when things got too suspenseful.

As if answering John's question, Alex reached over, his arms snaking around John's left arm and his body sliding to the edge of his seat so he could rest his head on John's shoulder. John's arm instinctively wrapped around Alex's shoulders, keeping him close. Throughout the course of the movie, Alex kept making little sounds of terror every time the killer--a threatening undead priest--showed up on screen. John didn't find the movie to be very scary, but Alex was downright terrified. John leaped at the opportunity to pull Alex ever closer, feeling as if it was somehow his duty to protect Alex, who seemed convinced the monster was going to find a way to walk out of the screen and into the theater. Towards the end of the film, the main character was trapped in the church basement, armed only with a small vial of holy water, as she searched for the monster.

"The suspense is killing me," Alex whispered, burying his face in John's shoulder so he couldn't see the screen anymore. "Let me know when it's over." John intently stared at the screen, where the main character was now standing utterly still, a suffocating silence surrounding her as the priest stalked across the room, creeping up behind her. John briefly considered lying to Alex and telling him the scene was over, but decided against doing it, not wanting to scare his date too much.

A few moments later, a loud scream rang out from the character on the screen. Alex jerked his head up to see what happened, immediately regretting it when he saw the horrific image. He let out a yelp of fright and immediately went back to hiding his eyes.

"How the hell do you enjoy this?" He hissed. John laughed softly and shook his head. He had seen enough horror movies that jump scares and freaky faces didn't bother him anymore, but he found it both endearing and hilarious that Alex let such cheap tricks have such an effect on him.

When the movie was finally over, the two of them walked outside, Alex visibly shaken. Clearly the movie had been scarier than he was expecting. He still smiled however, and announced to John that the date had been fun. Deciding they were hungry, the two of them briefly discussed it and figured it would be easiest to go to a local burger joint and grab a quick bite to eat. Since they had arrived in separate cars, the two would drive to the restaurant on their own and meet up inside. Before they split up to get into their cars, John's arm snaked around Alex and he pulled the man in for a kiss. He hadn't even thought twice about it; suddenly their lips were locked and John was kissing Alex, instantly taking control.

Alex was quick to pull away, his eyes wide. He shook his head, his eyes wide.

"John, I-" Alex paused. "I think I'm just gonna go home. We can get dinner together some other time." Alex shook his head, said goodbye and walked away, quietly mumbling, "I'm sorry" under his breath. John was left standing by himself outside the movie theater, confused. All he had done was kiss Alex. What was so bad about that? Sure, it seemed like Alex wanted to take things slow, but as a kiss on the second date really that big of a deal? John walked to his car, a sick feeling in his stomach as he considered how much he had messed things up. Alex had seemed really shaken up; had John totally ruined any chance of a third date? Or did Alex just need a few days before he would be okay with seeing John again? John prayed it was the latter, but feared it was the former.

-

"How did it go tonight?" Hercules asked, his smile instantly transforming into a look of concern when he saw John's face.

"I might have screwed up?" John offered up, unsure. He explained what had happened to Lafayette and Hercules. "I kissed Alex after the movie. Thought it would be okay to do that, but, I guess not. He freaked out and bailed on our plans. I don't want to bother him, but I want to apologize and fix things."

Lafayette sighed, looking as though he had a million things to say but wasn't entirely sure how to put them into words. After a moment of consideration, he spoke quietly.

"It is not my business to tell you this, but I think you should know something. Alexander dated a man named Aaron Burr for a very long time. Aaron works on the same floor as Alex and me, but he is not a very nice guy. To be blunt, when he and Alex dated, he was abusive." Lafayette seemed like he was struggling to speak. "Alex shared a very small amount of details with me after their breakup." Lafayette paused to let everything sink in. "I think Alex is still traumatized. When you kissed him so suddenly, it caught him off guard and probably triggered something in his mind. That would be my guess as to why that frightened him."

"So I reminded him of Burr? Alex thinks I'm like an abuser?" John questioned, worry rising in his chest.

"No, I just think the sudden physical contact scared him. Similar to how a child who was abused will flinch away from sudden movement, even if the person has no intent of harming them." Lafayette explained. John nodded, understanding.

"Do you think I ruined things with Alex?"

"I doubt it. I would just give him a night or two before you reach out again." Lafayette assured. John thanked him and went to his room, collapsing on the bed. He peeled off his shirt, tossing it on the floor along with his jeans. Letting his hair down, John slithered under the quilt on his bed and closed his eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted.

-

The clock on his bedside table read 3:42. Who was texting John this late? His hand fumbling around in the dark, John tried to find his phone, which had just buzzed.

**Alex:** _sorry about tonight. i should not have freaked out like that when you kissed me. youre a good kisser lol :)_

**John Laurens:** _Sorry I kissed you without asking. I didn't mean to scare you off. I'm glad you enjoyed my kissing skill, though?_

**Alex:** _next date plan on lots of kisses. i want to feel those lips on mine again._

John let out a sigh of relief at that. Alex wanted another date! John hadn't messed things up. In fact, Alex seemed excited about seeing him again, as if what John had done actually was a good thing.

**Alex:** _maybe i should explain why i freaked out? kind of a long story. dont want to overshare, just want you to know that i have a bad past when it comes to dating and its hard for me when stuff reminds of that past. if that makes sense._

**John Laurens:** _I completely understand, Alex. I promise to be better than those people in your past._

John hoped he wasn't being too forward. He really wanted to help Alex forget the trauma of his past, and he was glad that Alex trusted him enough to open up, even just a little, about what had happened to him. John prayed he could eventually get close enough to Alex for the man to tell John more, but, for now, he didn't want to push too hard.

**Alex:** _thanks for being patient with me. after i ran off i got worried that you would take it personally or be angry? i should have stayed. i was so upset with myself for ditching you. ugh. sometimes im so dumb._

**John Laurens:** _It's okay, Alex. Like you told me, you have a bad past. I understand that sometimes bad memories can affect you._

A few more texts were sent back and forth, the conversation going from John trying to comfort Alex to the two talking about how their week had gone. The conversation slowly became more and more normal, until suddenly Alex was asking John,

**Alex:** _am i allowed to call you my boyfriend yet?_

John stared the screen, blinking. This was coming out of nowhere, but he felt weirdly excited at the idea of calling Alex his boyfriend. 

**John Laurens:** _If you're ready to call mr your boyfriend, hell yes, I am cool with that._

_**Alex:** _yay!! i was so nervous you were gonna say no._ _

__**John <3:** _I don't think it's possible to say no when someone as cute as you asks a question like that._ _ _

__Alex and John kept going back and forth. Alex claimed that John was way cuter than him, which led to the two arguing about who was cuter._ _

__**Alex:** _you have super cute curls in your hair and your freckles are adorable and OH MY GOD your smile makes my insides melt_ _ _

__Even though Alex wasn't there, John felt himself blushing. All the things he hated about himself were the things Alex seemed to love the most. Finally, when nearly two hours had gone by, John declared that he was too tired to keep talking. Alex shot him a good night text, accompanied by a heart emoji. John smiled, tossing his phone aside and crawling back under the covers to go back to sleep for a few hours. He was oddly excited to tell Laf and Herc about what had just happened._ _


	3. In The Eye of a Hurricane

The next morning, John awoke to the sound of someone pounding on the door to the apartment. There were two bedrooms, and, unfortunately for John, his bedroom was right beside the kitchen, which happened to be the room where the front door was located. John mumbled in annoyance to himself under his breath as he pulled a t-shirt and sweatpants on, not wanting to answer the door in his boxers. Laurens glanced at the clock, noticing it was ten-thirty in the morning. He knew Hercules and Laf were already awake, so why were they ignoring the obnoxious pounding on the door? 

John opened his bedroom door and stumbled out into the kitchen. Sitting in a chair at the table, coffee mug in one hand, broad grin on his face, was Lafayette. John raised a suspicious eyebrow at the look of glee on his face. Usually Lafayette was the one who complained the most when people showed up at their door this early and decided to be this loud, but today he looked more than just a little pleased at the situation. 

"I believe someone is at the door for you, mon ami." He spoke softly, sounding oddly satisfied with himself. 

John shook his head and shot Laf a glare. There was absolutely no reason he couldn't answer the door himself. Half-stomping over to the door, John threw it open, ready to start yelling at whoever had been pounding so loudly and persistently. As soon as the door had swung fully open, however, the scowl on John's face melted into a small smile. Standing in the doorway with a nervous expression, fidgeting uncomfortably, was none other than Alexander himself. 

"You just can't stay away, huh?" John teased. 

"Actually," Alex murmured. "This morning Lafayette asked me how things were going between us." Alex paused, looking nervous, almost as if he was afraid John would be angry with him for discussing their relationship with someone else. "I told him things were going well," Alex continued. "and then he said I should come over so the four of us could go out for breakfast. On, like, a date." A dark blush took over Alex's cheeks as he said that; he let out a long exhale, has if he had been holding his breath for minutes in the brief seconds during which he awaited John's answer. 

John considered for a moment. He was still half-asleep, and his mind was taking way too long to process everything that was being said to him. For starters, why had Lafayette decided it was his job to plan John's dates with Alex? Why was he even bothering Alex about how things were going with John? Sure, he was probably concerned after what John had told him before about him kissing Alex, but Lafayette hadn't been aware that John and Alex had talked about things the previous night, and if they hadn't, Lafayette could have done something that would have made things extremely awkward. 

"Breakfast? Yeah, okay." John paused, shaking his head. "Let me change into something cleaner." Suddenly it occurred to John that this entire time Alex had been standing outside, having never been invited into the apartment. John awkwardly stepped to the side and motioned Alex inside. Alex smiled and came through the doorway, awkwardly laughing as he did so. He gave a shy wave to Lafayette, who nodded his head in return. 

John, unsure how to dress, surveyed how the other two were dressed. Lafayette had on a pair of black jeans, a white-shirt and a blue faux leather jacket. His hair was pulled back into a high bun perched on the top of his head, and he had on a pair of black boots. Alexander, on the other hand, was wearing a plain white t-shirt with a yellow button-up cardigan; like Lafayette, he had on black jeans and boots, his hair pulled back into a low ponytail. 

John slunk back into his room, throwing his closet open as he decided what to wear. Ultimately, he decided to wear a sweater, as he usually did. It was a thin grey sweater, under which John had a black t-shirt. A pair of jeans and black tennis shoes accompanied the admittedly simple outfit, and, knowing everyone found it awfully cute, John left his curly hair down, the strands of hair looking like a birds nest, even after John spent a considerable amount of time attempting to comb it into submission. 

When John finally walked back into the kitchen, he saw Lafayette showing Alexander something on his phone, Hercules' laugh booming at whatever it was. John awkwardly coughed to grab their attention, and immediately Alexander walked over, reaching out to card his fingers through John's hair. 

"I love your curls," He mumbled. "They're so soft." Alex grinned at Laurens. John just smirked, shaking his head. 

"Everyone loves my hair except me. It's impossible to tame." John explained, running his fingers nervously through his curls and sighing when he realized he was probably making the mess ten times worse. "Anyway, what were you showing him on your phone, Laf?" John questioned, praying the nervousness in his voice was inaudible to the others. 

"Nothing important," Lafayette shot back quickly. Laurens couldn't help but assume it was a lie, but he couldn't figure out what Laf could have possibly had that was important enough to show Alex. 

\- 

The two couples ultimately decided to go for breakfast at Omega Cafe, Hercules' favorite restaurant. As soon as he told the group about the size of the pancakes, they were sold. Alex had made some comment about being hungry enough to eat an elephant, and Hercules claiming the pancakes were the size of the wheels on a taxi had immediately caught his attention. 

The drive to the restaurant was difficult for John, to say the least. Laurens and Alexader were the only two out of the group who could actually drive, with Hercules having never gotten his license, and Lafayette claiming New York drivers made him far too nervous. All four of them decided to cram themselves inside of John's car, John and Alex in the front seat, Lafaeytte and Hercules sitting in the backseat. The car was so small that everyone, especially in the backseat, felt like sardines in a can. John typically preferred to drive in the quiet, rarely even going so far as to turn on the radio. Driving in New York stressed him out; the traffic was ridiculous, people were constantly running out into the middle of the street as they tried to cross and John worried that even the slightest distraction would end with him running someone over or smashing into another car. However, as soon as the car was on and he was pulling out onto the road, Alex was reaching for the radio, turning it up loud enough to make John's ear drums hurt as he rapped along too some vulgar song Laurens didn't recognize. In the backseat, Lafayette joined in, the speed with which he was able to shoot out lyrics taking John by surprise. He wanted to reach out and turn the music off, or at the least lower the volume, but he found himself deciding not to do that, especially after seeing how excited everyone else in the car was getting. When the song finally came to an end, Alex was practically panting, clearly out of breath. He reached back to high five Laf, commenting on the seemingly superhuman speed he had rapped with. 

As they drove, John remained mostly silent, wanting to focus as much of his attention as possible on the road. Still, he felt a certain sense of jealously rising up in him as he listened to how easily the conversation flowed between Alex, Laf and Herc. He wanted to be a part of that, but he refused to let himself be any more distracted from driving than he already was. 

"Hercules, I never got a chance to ask, what do you do for a living?" Alex questioned. 

"I'm a tailor." He replied. "I got a job with a man named Chris Pinn when I was first living on my own, and I've stuck with his company ever since. It's a small business, we've been on the verge of bankruptcy more than a few times, but I wouldn't trade my job for the world." 

The questions continued to fire back and forth between the two the entire ride. John wanted to jump in, especially when Alexander started talking about the writing he did on the side. Laurens' mind was screaming at him to launch into a detailed synopsis of his novel, wanted to tell Alexander all about how he would get his works published if he went with John's company, wanted to beg Alexander to let him read every word he wrote, even if he never let John publish it, but, instead he stayed silent. 

"I guess most people are more interested in fantasy than facts," Alex admitted. "But personally writing essays is my favorite thing to do. Political essays, especially." Alexander explained the countless essays he had written after the last presidential election, the essay he was writing right now regarding the recent voting that had occurred across the country, and the essay he wanted to write regarding the issue of immigration. 

The other two listened to every word he said, enraptured by Alex. He could be a bit wordy sometimes as he explained the content of his writings in detail, but there was no denying his skill. He would have done good to become a politician, or any kind of public speaker, really. 

Finally, after what had felt like hell for John, they arrived at the cafe. John was relieved to finally have arrived, as it meant now he could actually join the conversation. 

"You were awfully quiet, John." Lafayette teased. 

"Don't like talking when I drive, too easy to get distracted." He muttered. Lafayette knew John was like that, and clearly he thought it was funny that John had been unable to join any of the conversations that had gone on in the car for the last twenty-eight minutes. 

\- 

"Table for four, please." Lafayette said to the woman who greeted them as they entered the restaurant. She guided them around, snaking in between tables, until they were finally sat down at a small table in the back of the restaurant. Laf and Herc took a seat on one side, Lafayette taking the time to lean in and press a quick kiss to Hercules' cheek. John and Alex sat on the other side across from them, Alex yawning and leaning over to rest his head on John's shoulder as they sat down. 

"I'm so tired." He whined. John picked up a menu and thrust it into Alex's hands. 

"You can go to sleep or you can eat." John said, laughing. Alex sighed, opening the menu and scanning the many choices. The cafe had all the quintessential breakfast items. An entire section for pancakes, another for waffles, and a third for french toast. There was even an entire page dedicated to the seemingly countless omelette options. 

The waiter came back about seven minutes later and took their orders. Laf ordered blueberry pancakes with a black coffee, Hercules taking strawberry pancakes and commenting that he would just steal sips from Laf's coffee as needed. Alex ordered chocolate chip waffles and chocolate milk, making John feel like he was here with a child instead of a grown man. John decided to get plain french toast and stuck with his water, which Alex claimed was "the most boring breakfast anyone in the history of ever has eaten". 

Alex kept his head on John's shoulder as they waited for their food to come. John found something comforting about having Alex right there. It made things feel more tangible. This wasn't just a text, or even spoken word, to prove that they were together. This was solid proof--their bodies being right there beside each other. At some point in time, John reached his hand out and interlaced his fingers with Alex's. Again, he loved the feeling of actually being able to feel Alex beside him. 

Lafayette looked at the two of them with a hardly noticeable smile, a subtle way of giving his approval. He loved seeing how happy John was with Alex, that much was obvious. He had always been the most caring friend John had. Alex wasn't the first time Laf had tried to hook John up with someone; he was always on the lookout for someone, claiming John shouldn't be so lonely, always cutting himself off from people as he remained wrapped up in work and writing every waking moment. John couldn't place what it was about Alex, but he was the first guy that John actually felt like he had a connection with. He had never actually made it past the first date with any of the other guys Lafayette had sent him out with. 

Casual conversation floated between the group as they waited for their food to come. Alexander asked John about the book he was writing, wanting more details than the few things he had gotten last time. John started to explain everything, down to the details of how he had decided to work out the pacing of the story. Alex drank every detail, his interest in John's words never once wavering. It made Laurens feel wanted, the way Alex gazed up at him with a curious expression, occasionally whispering something to encourage John when he slowed down his explanation, afraid that Alexander was losing interest in what he was saying. 

John felt a small part of him grow sad when the waiter brought out their food, placing their plates in front of them. Alex sat back up, leaving only the phantom feeling of his head pressed against John's shoulder. His hand slipped away, John momentarily clenching his hand into a fist, as if that wound somehow make Alex's hand return between his fingers. 

"Let me steal a bite of your pancakes, mon amor." Lafayette said as he stole a small piece of Hercules' food. 

"C'mon, you have your own!" 

"Quiet, they are huge, you can spare me a small bite. Besides, yours are different. The syrup is strawberry on yours, mine is blueberry." Lafayette replied. "If you want, steal a bite of mine." He offered. 

"You know I hate blueberry." Hercules shot back. Lafayette grinned at him. Whenever they had breakfast he did that to Hercules--ordered something he didn't even enjoy so Lafayette could freely take what he wanted from Hercules without needing to worry about Hercules taking something in return. 

"You know, John, if you are interested, you should read my essays sometime. With you being an editor, maybe you can give me some feedback." Alex said through a mouthful of food. John cringed, hating his poor table manner. He decided to keep quiet, however, not wanting to be rude or embarrass Alex. 

"I would love to read what you write sometime." John nodded. Alex smiled. 

"It's all handwritten. I hope that's okay. I know typing is far faster, but something about the feeling of a pen on paper is so much more satisfying. Although, a lot of people claim my handwriting is impossible to read. I have so many ideas, and they come out all at once and I have to write as fast as I can to get everything down before I forget it." Alex explained all of this at the speed of light, John barely being able to keep up with everything he was saying. He suddenly got the terrible feeling that Alex's writing was going to be impossible for him to understand. He would already imagine what is was like, jumbled ideas, each one brilliant enough to be its own paper, all scribbled down onto one sheet, the perfect image of Alex's hand trying to keep up with his mind. 

"You're a writer," Alex began. "Maybe someday you can help me with an essay. If that kind of thing interests you." Alex said nervously. 

"I would love to write something with you, Alex. I don't usually write that kind of thing but," John paused and thought. "I feel pretty strongly about certain political issues. Being able to write that down and get my voice out there, that sounds pretty awesome." Alex breathed a sigh of relief, and quietly thanked John. 

The rest of the breakfast went smoothly. The four men chatted, Lafayette sharing stories from his childhood in France, John taking a moment to complain about his racist father. Alexander said very little about his childhood, saying little more than the fact that he never knew his father and his mother died when he was fairly young. Anytime Alexander talked about his life prior to coming to America, John could see the uneasiness in his face. That was why John always refrained from asking further questions--it was none of his business, and he hated the idea of making Alex uncomfortable or upset. 

When everything was said and done, the waiter came out with the bill. John fished out his wallet, planning to cover at least his and Alex's half of the bill. 

"No, John, let me cover-" Alex said, pulling his own wallet over. 

"No, you always pay. You were invited on this date, you didn't even plan it, it isn't your responsibility to pay." John cut him off. 

"I was the one who invited you all, so I will pay." Lafayette said, rolling his eyes. Before John could protest, Lafayette shot him a look that quickly shut him up. Lafayette always wanted to pay for everything; having come from a wealthy family, he had more than enough money to go around, and he insisted on letting other people share in his riches. John admired his generosity, but it always made him feel guilty, letting someone else run their bank account dry when he was perfectly capable of pitching in money himself. 

\- 

The car ride back to the apartment was even less eventful than the ride to the cafe. This time around, Alex kept the radio turned off, opting instead to quietly hum to himself. In the backseat, Lafaeytte and Hercules quietly chatted about something. John hardly listened, though he thought he heard Herc say something about taking Lafayette back to France for a few weeks next summer. John briefly wondered if someday Alex would want to return home to the island he came from, a thought he was quick to shove away. If Alex wanted to go home, John could do nothing about that. It was Alex's decision to make, even if John secretly prayed Alex would stay with him in New York forever. 

"Thanks for coming out for breakfast." John said to Alex, hugging him. John reveled in Alex's warmth, the way it felt to be pressed against him, their arms around each other. He could smell the scent of Alex's shampoo, could look right into his dark brown eyes, finding himself lost inside of them. 

Alex said his goodbye and headed to his car, claiming he had business to attend to and would see John again soon. 

"Next Saturday?" John offered up. 

"Busy. Meeting with someone from a company I might transfer to." Alex was vague. "I'm pretty busy for the rest of the month, to be honest. I'll text you when I find a free weekend, okay?" 

John nodded. He understood that Alex had a life and had commitments, but the selfish part of him wished Alex would spend every waking moment next to him. John hadn't realized until Alex came along just how much he craved the attention of another person. Having Alex with him gave him new life, and now John was terrified that one wrong step would mean losing that. It was early on in their relationship, John kept reminding himself, knowing he should be more careful about how attached he got. Something in him, however, couldn't help it. Alex made him happy, happier than he had felt in a very long time. It wasn't until he escaped the abyss of loneliness that John realize just how suffocating the darkness that had trapped him was. 

\- 

The next two months were agonizing for John. He rarely got to see Alex, both of them being far too busy to do much more than talk on the phone. Before he knew it, John found himself turning his calendar to August. A couple weeks earlier, Alex had told John he was free August 13, a day John found himself looking forward to. The two of them were going to visit the Art Museum; John didn't have any particular interest in art, but he thought it was a romantic place to take Alex. 

Another date with Alex was finally here. The last two months had been awful for John. Only being able to hear Alex's voice over the phone, or see his face on screen the few times they had used facetime, had killed John when all he wanted was to feel the warmth of Alex's body beside his. John had offered to pick up Alex from his apartment so they could go to the museum together. Of course, part of John really did want an excuse to spend more time with Alex, but another part of him was curious to see Alex's apartment. 

Rain was pouring down in sheets, fat drops coming down so fast that it was near impossible to see more than a foot in front of you. John hated driving in the rain, but he hated the idea of backing out on Alex even more. So, he forced himself to be a man, getting in his car and slowly driving to the address Alex had given him. The wind outside was horrendous; John could hear is screaming as he inched his way down the road, the ferocity of the wind doing enough to blow John's car almost off the road multiple times. Forks of lightning cracked across the sky every once in a while, followed by rolling thunder. As much as John hated driving in the rain, he was happy to say the roads were considerably less jammed when the storms came along. Everything was vacant during storms, as most people preferred to stay locked inside, rather than going out and getting drenched in the rain.

John pulled into the guest parking outside of Alex's building. It was a tall building in the upper east side of Manhattan; it was incredibly nice and clearly on the more expensive side of things. Alex lived on the fifth floor in apartment 5-C. John chose to take the stairs, hating how cramped elevators felt. When he arrived on Alex's floor, he slowly trudged down the hallway, stopping when he arrived at a door with a silver 5-C stuck on the front. Raising his fist, John knocked softly to get Alex's attention and patiently waited for the door to open so he could tackle Alex into a hug. He was desperate to smell his shampoo again, to feel the softness of his hair as John's fingers carded through it. However, the door never opened. John pulled out his phone and checked--the last text he had from Alex was the text with his address, there was no indication that the date was cancelled. John knocked again, hoping maybe Alex had just been busy and hadn't heard the door. After waiting another few minutes with nothing, John tested the door. It was unlocked, allowing John to creep inside, hoping Alex wouldn't freak out and think he was an intruder. 

"Alex? It's me, John!" John called out. No answer. John sighed, growing slightly worried. Was Alex okay? And if he wasn't, what would John be able to do about it? As John wandered through the apartment, which was fairly spacious, littered with small ornaments here and there, John tried to ignore the temptation to snoop through things as he sought after Alex. 

John came face-to-face with a door. It was open just a crack, and light poured out into the dark hallway from inside. John pushed the door open slightly and peered inside. Sitting on his bed, a blanket wrapped tightly around him like a cocoon was Alexander. He had a notebook in his lap and he was furiously writing with a pen. At first, the image looked normal, and John assumed Alex had gotten so caught up in his writing that he had lost track of the time and missed the date. It wasn't until thunder hit, rumbling so loud that the room seemed to shake, that John realized something was wrong. At the thunder, Alex whimpered softly, and John noticed tears streaked down his cheeks. _Alex was terrified._

John cautiously walked into the room. He didn't want to scare Alex, but he wanted to be there for him if his boyfriend was afraid. 

"Hey, Alex, buddy, you okay?" John said softly. Alex looked up and gasped. As soon as he locked eyes with Laurens, his arm flew up as he pulled his sleeve over his hand and wiped the tears off of his face. His lip was quivering, his breathing was unsteady and his cheeks were blotchy, his eye red. Alex tried to put on a brave face as he greeted John, but it was blatantly obvious that something was wrong. "Storm got you a little freaked out?" John questioned. 

Alex tried to deny it, shaking his head and turning away from John. John sat down on the bed beside Alex and observed him silently. Lightning flashed, illuminating the room with a momentary purple glow. Alex flinched as this happened, squeezing his eyes shut. Thunder soon followed, somehow even louder than last time, causing Alex to let out a small sob as his hands flew up to cover his ears. 

"Hey, Alex, calm down. The storm can't hurt you, I promise." John soothed. He wrapped his arms around Alex, pulling him into his chest. John wasn't entirely sure what to do, but whenever he was afraid, he found contact with someone else often helped comfort him. He hoped all Alex needed was a companion. 

"John, I'm sorry you had to see me like this." Alex's voice wavered as he spoke. "I'm like a little kid, scared of thunder." 

"Don't beat yourself up. It's fine to be afraid, Alex. I used to be terrified of storms when I was a kid." John hoped his words would bring some semblance of comfort. "Some things in life are just really scary for us. For you, it happens to be storms. For me, it's spiders." 

"Storms aren't just some scary thing to me." Alex asserted. "I. They remind me of bad memories." Alex explained. John raised an eyebrow and urged Alex to continue. "When I was seventeen, a hurricane destroyed the town I lived in. That hurricane is the reason I came to New York." Alex let out a deep exhale, his breathing shaky. "I was so alone during that storm. All I remember is praying to God that the water would overtake me and I would drown. I was so afraid." Alex broke down into tears once again as he spoke. John sat in silence, slowly working through the information he had been given. "I don't want to be alone during this storm. Please. Stay here." Alex begged. 

"Of course, babe. I'm not going anywhere." John said it without thinking. He had never called Alex babe, or any pet name for that matter, and he hoped Alex would be okay with it. The two sat in Alex's bed for a few minutes, John mumbling words of comfort as Alex's sobs died out. For a moment he was calm, the storm remaining silent, as if the two of them were in the eye of a hurricane. As soon as Alex allowed the tension in his body to melt away, however, lightning flashed once again, followed by the lights in the room flicking out. Alex let out a yelp, terrified. John fumbled around and pulled out his phone, turning on the flashlight to give some light to the room. 

"I normally don't mind the dark, but during storms-" Alex cut himself off when thunder boomed. John quickly texted Lafayette. 

**Johnny:** _Is the power still on at the apartment?_

**Laf:** _The storm is quite violent but the power is on._

John showed the texts to Alex, silently offering to take Alex back home with him. 

"I know you won't want to be in a car during this storm, but we have power at our apartment. You can spend the night at our place, it might be better for you to have more people around, anyway. Hercules and Lafayette are always really good about remaining calm, anyway. I'm probably gonna start freaking out soon, I always get antsy when other people are nervous." John admitted. 

Alex agreed to go back to the apartment with John. They walked down to where John's car was parked. John giving Alex his umbrella. The car ride back to their apartment was a scary one for both of them; Alex kept flinching and whimpering at the noises of the storm, and John was terrified to be driving in the weather that seemed to grow exponentially worse with every passing moment. 

Finally, they arrived back to John's apartment. He and Alex walked in, John soaking wet from the rain, to see Hercules and Lafayette curled up on the couch watching The Hunchback of Notre Dame together. As soon as Lafayette looked up and saw Alex, shaky and still in tears, he paused the movie and rushed over to him. 

"Mon ami, get on the couch. John, grab him a blanket and cuddle with him." John laughed at the fact that he was being given the command to cuddle with Alex, but he obeyed, running to his room and grabbing his softest blanket. He draped it over Alex, curling up next to him on the couch and pulling Alex's body against his own, so Alex had his back pressed to John's chest. Lafayette sunk back into Herc's lap as they turned the movie back on. 

"Thank you," Alex whispered, tilting his head back to kiss Laurens. John smiled. He felt terrible for poor Alex, but, in it's own weird way, this storm had been a blessing in disguise for both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm making it my goal to update this story at least once a week from now on, assuming I'm able to find time between school and work. I'm also working on some other stories on the side, mainly a Dear Evan Hansen one-shot. I am considering challenging myself in December to write a Hamilton song fic everyday of the month, if that idea interests anyone. 
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who has read this so far, and, as always, all comments and kudos are appreciated more than you know!

**Author's Note:**

> All comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!


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